In a few months we will have made it to our 13th anniversary. What a ride! Thinking back over the years, we both would agree that there are a couple things we’ve learned that are a must in our marriage. One of those things is prayer.
Prayer has become a natural part of both of our days. As followers of Jesus, it’s our way to have an on-going conversation with the Lord as we go through our daily life. And if you’re married, part of your “daily life” is living with your spouse.
Within marriage, some days can be difficult and your spouse drives you completely crazy, while other days can be so great that people should write love songs about your love for each other. To have a successful marriage it is essential to stay constantly connected to the Lord.
In any season, prayer and staying connected to God is what will sustain you and your marriage.
When you don’t feel like being kind or loving your spouse, talking with God will give you his love and kindness. When you are looking for the right words to say in a difficult conversation with your spouse, speaking with the Lord first can give you the wisdom in what to say and what not to say. Without seeking the Lord first, especially in heated situations; it can so easily end in hurt feelings, or regret over something said. All these things can often be avoided if we would just seek the Lord before we act, and ask for wisdom.
Yes, mistakes are going to be made in your marriage. Grace and forgiveness are needed. At some point both of you will be in the position of needing to say “I’m sorry,” or “I forgive you.” And when the time comes, truly forgiving someone or apologizing may not happen unless the Lord is involved. Constant communication with the Lord will make you aware of when such things need to be said.
We both have had times when pride has gotten in the way of the Lord’s presence in our marriage. But praying and asking the Lord for help in navigating the waters of our relationship has been so beneficial. He has been what has held us together, and will continue to do so.
Lastly, it is so important to pray for your spouse. To know you are being covered in prayer by your spouse is one of the greatest blessings. It shows that you care. Be intentional about asking your spouse what you can pray for. And make sure to do it! Think of how you can be in tune to what is going on with each other. The benefit of praying for one another will be a closer and healthier relationship.
Prayer is such a simple tool to keep your marriage alive and well. It will take discipline. You may not remember to do it all the time, but that’s okay! Keep working at it. Ask the Lord to remind you to include him in your marriage, and also for ways that you can be praying for your spouse. Watch what it does over time for your marriage. And ultimately, watch what it does to your relationship with the Lord.
Becky & Adam Weber live in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. They’ve been married 12 years, have 4 kids, 4 chickens, and a dog named Daisy. Adam is the lead pastor of Embrace, a 10-year-old church that has grown to 6 campuses in two states.